'Twas New Year's Eve

‘Twas New Year’s Eve, and all through the house,
Family had gathered, each man with his spouse;

The tables held bowls of pretzels and chips,
An assortment of crackers, cheeses, and dips;

I sat down on the couch to enjoy a cold beer,
But before my first sip, I was filled with great fear;

For from the front yard, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter;

I retrieved my rifle and made my way outside,
When I got to the driveway, my eyes opened wide;

It’s still hard to believe what I saw with my eyes,
But it’s exactly what happened, I tell you no lies;

I came face-to-face with what looked like a ‘squatch,
It wore a blue jumpsuit that fit tight in the crotch;

It was tall, it was hairy, and it smelled like death,
I caught the strong scent of booze on its breath;

I took aim with my gun to shoot the beast dead,
I shot it twice in the gut and once in the head;

It stumbled backwards and fell to the ground,
It laid there not moving or making a sound;

I turned my head and yelled to my wife,
“Call the police! It threatened my life!”

But when I looked back, it wasn’t there,
It was if it had vanished into thin air;

In its place was a present, my name on the tag,
And all sorts of goodies inside that gift bag;

Amongst the items was a six-pack of beer,
It would indeed be a Happy New Year!
 

 

 

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